There are a few things I know to be true.
As one of my friends said to me, parenting is tough because it comes completely from the heart and isn’t typically a logical process. This is why I think most people find a career to be at times so much easier than parenting. I certainly do. My dear friend also told me that “at the end of the day if I know nothing else, I know how to love them.” I love that saying.
I am certain that our kids know they are handsome/beautiful, smart, strong, loved, safe and important. They know this because we tell them every night. Kaia is still learning, but the boys have heard this every night since they were little babies. Sometimes we get an eye-roll as we tell it to them again, but we feel these are important characteristics that will hopefully help them always to know that they are enough!
I have a few non-negotiables.
When I take care of myself, I can take great care of my family. There are a few things I absolutely need in order to feel my best and these are non-negotiable.
- Moving my body: Working out is my “me” time to clear my head. Whether its weights, cardio or yoga, working out will always be a part of my life.
- Inspirational books and audios: We are constantly bombarded with negativity. Our brains are 10x more likely to attach to negative information than positive info thanks to our amygdala. I see positive mindset as a muscle that I have to constantly exercise. I also thrive off of new information. It’s like an essential vitamin to me that keeps my head clear and my mood elevated. I rotate between great empowering non-fiction books from the self-help section, which should really be called the “literacy of possibility” section, audiobooks (because they are sometimes easier to fit in for me these days), TED talks, you tube videos of my mentors, or Mind Valley which I joined a couple of months ago and love.
- Eating clean: What I put in (or don’t put in) my body fuels me and gives me the energy I need to show up as the mom and partner I want to be. It’s that simple.
- Self-care: I am committed to doing one thing every day for myself. Some days I may be fortunate enough to have a self-care appointment for massage, acupuncture, chiro, sauna, hbot or mani/pedi…all my favorites! Other days, it’s a matter of putting my focus on staying present, choosing to put my phone/computer away for a bit and just be. Spending time in nature is also a huge reset for me. It’s amazing what even a few minutes in fresh air and the great outdoors can do.
And lastly, one of the biggest and, luckily, easiest things I can do for myself is breathe. It’s free, and takes no extra time, just a bit of presence and intention. It brings me back into the present moment and helps me put everything into perspective.
We cannot serve from an empty vessel and I know that in order to be the mom I want to be, I have to make time for myself. Mommy-ing can be hard for sure, but incorporating a bit of self-care and some perspective certainly helps us handle it better and know we are doing the best we can!